Mere Mirza Ghalib Jee~ Dil Hi Tou Hai in Corona

It’s a Corona Sunday. It has been two weeks of lockdown. I got up at 7am. Fed the birds. Listened to Surah Rahman. Whatsapped my parents. I miss them terribly. I feel so homesick. Home is sunny, lusciously green ‘Dera Sakoon,’ Bedian. 

Walking barefoot in the garden. Our rows of Amaltaas and Gul Mohar trees, our three pyaray dogs and Papa’s pride of flower beds, vegetables and the fruit garden. My mama and papa’s deep, long, ‘kuskay jhappies’ hugs.  The garden’s freshly picked fruit and juice. Meray Papa ‘ki khatirdari aur ahtimam’. The delicious lunch menu. The gaddaas in the garden under open tents, to nap in later. Waking up to the perfect pyali of chai. How I miss the air and home.

I have to summon all my strength and courage. I run to my creative Corona corner, ‘jhuggi’ and put on my favorite soundtrack, a TV series in the 80’s directed by Gulazar Sahib and featuring the iconic Jagjit and Chitra Singh on my favorite poet, Mirza Ghalib played by the formidable and brilliant Naseeruddin Shah…”Hazoron khwahishhein aisi...Keh har khwahish pe dum nikle….Bohat nikle mere armaan. Lekin phir bhi kam nikle…Hai Mere..Mirza Ghalib Jee.. Aaj phir Adaab aur Assalm-o-Alaikum!

I breathe a little and excitedly go and discuss all possible road routes with my poor, half-asleep husband and father to get there. The Lahore Cantt is in lockdown. Only the residents are admitted. Even with cars that that have an entry pass, they ask questions if there are more than two passengers. Defense is not a option. Phases 3, 4, 5 have reported Corona cases and there is a chance of the car not being able to get through. The idea of going in pairs of three. Not allowed. Then maybe in two. I don’t drive. As the finality of not going sets in, I mumble to myself, Dil-e-Nadan Tujhe Huwa Kia Hai..Akhir Iss Dard Ki Dawa Kia hai?

I look forlornly at my laptop. Anger mixed with disappointment and sadness. I decide to clean my dusty desktop. My tears dancing on my eyelids, about to burst open the flood, I have been holding down, for days. Aah ko chahiye aik umar asar honay tuk..kon jeeta hai teri zulf kay asr honay tuk..Aashqui sabar talab huon tamana baitaab..dil ka kia rung karo..khoonay jigar honay tak…

 

Dil hi to hai..Na sung-o-khisth.. dard say bhar na ayey kyon..rooyay gay hum hazar baar..koi humien saatayay kyon…Today I had to sum up my Ghlaib Jee just to get through the morning, work out, bake a pie and spend quality time with myself, by writing about my first love and listening to it, Urdu Poetry. Bazeecha-e-Atfaal hai.. Dunitya Meray Agey..Hota hai Shub-e-rooz tamasha meray gay…Mut pooch kay kay kia haal hai mera teray peechay..tou dekh kay kia rung hai tera mera agay…